WE WON~ I know, it's a little late to be bragging about it, but I was busy spending time with sister after the games, then went to the aquarium with Nagi~

Sis...

She's camera shy~

I got to chill this weekend but I've been so busy and focused that now I feel I have nothing to do!! D: I don't like feeling like this so I must plan something soon, like get things going for the hanami party this following weekend~

Ah yeah, the coach wants us practicing from tomorrow though, that's good but Aominecchi doesn't want to play one on one with me for some stupid reason though we don't even have classes yet. Something to do with potential newcomers. I don't know really.

[PRIVATE]
I don't feel like I can talk much about what's going on between Aominecchi and I because it's so confusing I don't even know where to start. I feel like he's playing with my heart... he gives so much but then takes it all back, he's so confused and I can understand why, but he makes me confused too! It's frustrating and it hasn't even started. But I can't do anything about it... because I'm weak. I'm so weak for this idiot.
Why is it never easy for me?! He goes from shutting the door in my face to wanting me to sleep in his bed in less than a month. Then I say I'm going out with a friend, he cuts be out for 2 days, no messages, no calls because that's how he 'deals' with things. He asks me not to wait too long to love him, then when I comply he says he loves me but is not ready... he hugs me, he pushes me away... I tell him I'm in love with him, he gets happy and seductive, keeps being sexy and alluring... and 10 minutes later he is asking me what if it takes a year for him to be ready, will I wait? I get mad cos... A YEAR? I'm having issues with being this long without sex... a YEAR? I complain and he says i only talk about the sex. What?! He's had his hands all over me! Then he says I don't understand, then he hugs me, and he kisses me, and asks me to stay for the night.

WHAT IS GOING ON?!!? I'M DYING HERE!!! HE'S KILLING ME!!

Why can't it just be 'I love you, be with me?' 'Yes, I'll be with you~ <3 Yay!' ... :/ I usually don't like it boring and easy, but right now, all I want is for my heart to get off this continues roller coaster ride. I want it to be easy... BORING... give me boring! I'm emotionally exhausted.

He makes me happy tho... u_u i'm a masochist, i must be.